One of the reasons there's such a discrepancy between Actual Time and the Real Feel is that it's all about perspective. Who you are, where you are, and what you're doing help define time. But age is another factor, resulting in further discrepancies between how adults and kids measure time.
For example, you may have found yourself in a scenario where you asked kids to wait five minutes for you to get off the phone to read a book to them. When five minutes was up and they came back to remind you, it seemed like only five seconds to you. To them, it seemed like five hours.
Maybe there ought to be an Adult-Kid Time Continuum reference book where you could find viewpoint clarifications for common time-related words and phrases like these:
TIME [tayhm]
ADULT: The hour and minutes displayed on your watch, phone or other time-keeping device. Wow, the time is 5:12 already?
KID: The hour and minutes you ask about so frequently that said adult's watch hasn't even changed since you last asked. What time is the movie going to start? Is it almost time? How about now? Is it time yet? Now is it time?
SECOND [sek*uhnd]
ADULT: A quick pause. Please hold on just a second...I'll be right back.
KID: How long it takes to scrape knee, get full of mud or break something while adult's back is turned. I was only going to look at it for a second, but then it spilled by accident. I didn't know it would stain the rug.
MINUTE [min*it]
ADULT: The time between dropping your kid off somewhere and having to pick said kid up. What was that basketball practice, like, a minute long?
KID: How long he's been playing Xbox. What do you mean turn it off? I've only been playing for like a minute.
ONE TIME [wuhn*tayhm]
ADULT: A singular occurrence and how often you wish you had to say something in order to yield results. I should only have to tell you one time to go do your homework.
KID: Oft-repeated introductory phrase for communicating what happened previously. Usually involves creative embellishment. One time, my friend said he was eating pizza, and one time he burned his mouth really bad, so like one time, it was so bad, it made his eyeballs pop out, and one time, they had to go to the emergency room to glue them back in, and then one time...
A THOUSAND TIMES [a thou*zuhnd tayhms]
ADULT: The number of times you've repeated yourself. If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times...no jumping on the couch.
KID: The number of times he's had to say your name to get your attention. I just yelled "Mom" from my room like a thousand times, but you still didn't bring me a drink of water.
50 MILLION TIMES [fif*tee mil*yuhn tayhms]
Adult: Number of times you've found a tween's clothes on the floor. It's ridiculous I've had to pick your clothes up 50 million times when you should be doing it yourself.
Kid: How many cool things your friends get to do that you don't. Why can't we go to the beach today? My friends have been there like 50 million times already this summer.
FOREVER [fawr*ev*er]
ADULT: The amount of time it takes for a kid to get into pajamas and brush teeth. Why does it take forever for you to get into bed on a school night when we all have to get up so early?
KID: How much time remains before food is ready. Although I just had a snack 10 minutes ago, I'm starving. You're taking forever to cook dinner!
LAST TIME [lah*st tahym]
ADULT: The point where you refuse to repeat yourself again. I'm telling you for the last time...turn off the TV.
KID: The time before today, back when things were allegedly done more to her liking. But last time you let us stay up past midnight.
BEDTIME [bed tahym]
ADULT: Extremely short period to attempt to recharge oneself before getting up to do everything all over again. Thank goodness it's the kids' bedtime so I can get things done uninterrupted, and if I'm lucky, get maybe six hours of sleep myself.
KID: An unnecessary obstacle to having more fun. Why do we have to go to bed? I'm not tired. My friend's bedtime is way later than mine. Why do we even need sleep anyway?
So when you next use time-related terminology, just keep in mind your definition and a kid's interpretation of the very same words may be completely different.
TALK TO ME: Do you have any time-related terms you'd like to add to the Adult-Kid Time Continuum Guide?
Howabout when you tell your kid something can happen in two minutes and it feels like an eternity to them. I think I actually heard a song once somewhere from the kid perspective about this, but can't seem to remember where. Maybe Sesame Street? Anyway, these are great. Love your drawings!
ReplyDeleteHaha, yes! Sometimes I wonder if how long we tell them even matters...whether we say 2 minutes or 20, they just don't understand how to wait PERIOD. (Not that as an adult I'm not 'slightly' impatient myself).
DeleteThat's cool there's a song about it. If you remember where you heard it, please share!